Born:	30 June 1977
Live:	Fresno, CA, USA, Earth.
Height:	178 cm
Weight:	78 kg
Hair (head):	buzz-cut, brown-red
Hair (face):	jaw-line-length buzz-cut sideburns, red-brown
Hair (elsewhere):	plentiful and unaltered, red-brown
Eyes:	Blue, uncorrected
Handed:	Right
Skin:	Teutonic, lots of birthmarks, summer arm-and-neck tans
Body:	pudgier than I want to be, innie, circumcised, medium-build, long-limbed, narrow-skulled, big-nosed. Your average Anglo-Dutch-German-Russian mutt without a foreskin.
Clothes:	black. Mid-price to discount. Baggy, layered, button-up.
Pants:	34 w 34 l (XL). Damn long legs.
Shirts:	16.5 35/36 (XL). Dam long arms.
Undergarments:	briefs or boxer-briefs with slacks and thin-material-trousers. Boxers with casuals and cargos. Freeball in jeans and tighter trousers.
Diet:	Everything. Fast food, processed food, fattening food. Occasional detox. Occasional vegetable.
Favorite food:	Greek. Falafel. Stuffed grape leaves. Hummus.
Second favorite food:	Mexican. Torta carnitas. Taco carne asada.
Drink:	Socially, infrequently.
Favorite alcohol:	Beer. Red. Newcastle.
Favorite liquor drink:	Dry Bombay gin martini. Lime, no olive.
Favorite liquer drink:	Red-headed hooker.
Occupation:	Office toady.
Career goal:	Small-town deputy D.A.
Sexual preference:	90% homosexual.
Sexual fetishes:	stocky jocks (football, baseball, heavyweight wrestlers), chubby Mexican boys with facial hair, butch goth boys, chubby blue-collar-white-trash-red-necks. Fred Durst with his mouth sewn up. Groups.
Most unusual fantasy:	Drew Carrey or lipstick lesbians.
Marital status:	A marriage has been arranged.
Free-time:	Online, live audience or tele-audience.
Schedule:	Corporate slave. 8-5. Not good without sleep.
Exercise:	walk to coffeehouse most days of the week.
Surroundings:	black fabric. Black paint. Black carpet. Black accessories. Compact fluorescent bulbs. Storage for everything. If it's not glass it won't get dusted.
Vices:	Coffee (Columbian dark), clove cigarettes, porn, sushi, consumer electronics.
Health:	hypertension (controlled with Accupril), cholesterol, melanoma, otherwise healthy.
Turn-offs:	Drugs, excrement, pain, poor communicative skills, head games.
Political/philosophical:	Atheist, more right-leaning than left, individualist, personal-responsibility junkie.
Housekeeping:	Near-OCD level of organization. Clean and tidy all-around. Shelved, not stacked.
Obsessions:	Good communication. Future-oriented. Organizing my collections. Avoiding crowds. Analyzing my life.