Now typing in the afterglow of a wonderful weekend with David. I like him more & more every time I see him. And it's not scaring me anymore.

Not much more to report today. Just a "cheer up" going out to Murray. Things will still shape up one of these days...

Here I had the biggest most important update in weeks all typed out and ready to post, and I hit some key accudentally and it's all gone. I'm not in the mood to try to come up with all of it again, so you'll all have to settle for another sub-standard post.

It was mainly about my latest essay, which I'll be reciting at Open Mic tonight, as well as some reactions I've been getting about it. If you want to discuss it, why not head on over to my message board or contact me?

In other news, I officially *NEED* an iPod. Thanks to David's buddy Dan for the short but convincing demo, as well as the persuasive information from Apple.

Maybe more later. I have to do my weekly shopping now.

I have a new essay up. I am planning a slight redesign of the site, but I probably won't have it finished for a couple days, since many chores beckon tonight: Xmas tree. Xmas cards. Xmas shopping. Shopping for myself. More shopping for myself. Gritting my teeth at how little money I seem to have this time of year.

I'm falling WAY behind on my email. So if I owe you a reply, please give me a little while longer. I'm usually good at replying to all my email, even if it does take me several years to do so...

The site is down whilst I prepare my new navigation and make sure everything is working. I'll keep this page up to update on the progress, but nothing else will be accessable until Thursday.

In other news, I have acquired a sweet-smelling Xmas tree. The dogs next door are really getting on my nerves. I might have to go without snogging with David for 3 whole weeks. At least I'll have my dirty videos to keep me company.

I managed to also videotape last night's open-mic show. I'm not sure what I'll be doing with it yet. Feeling more Xmasish with every new day. Now if only my sinuses would start behaving...

What a couple days... Very busy at work, and very busy at home. I managed to get the tree decorated and in place. Hopefully it doesn't make my apartment too messy over the next month. Got the Xmas cards out. I have a few left over - Let me know if you want to be on my A-list. j/k.

Obviously you've noticed the new site design. Hopefully it makes for a combination of better navigation, better aesthetics, and a little more mystique on my end. I think the photo is very 'Cure: 17 Seconds' esque. I have tried to check all the navigation, but there could still be a few bad links. If you find one, Please let me know.

You may also notice that the "Trips" page is not up. This is because I still have nothing really to put on it. I lost interest in having a site exclusively about diners, and figured I can devote my attention instead on the places I go to find the diners. I've already got a few road trips written up, it's just a matter of html-ifying them. Stay tuned. All signs point to that particular section being fully up by the New Year.

The rest of the evening I will devote to meaningless web surfing, something my schedule has not allowed for almost 2 weeks, or at least since I started this big redesign. FYI: for those of you who don't think my site is snazzy enough, considering how much time I spent on it - at least I can say I have built this site from the beginning in raw HTML. Some people don't see this as a point of pride. Those people have cumbersome web sites that take forever to load. I hate them.

I should be back to my semi-responsible pace of email replies starting tonight as well. Sorry to those who have had their patience taxed. Lastly, I'll extend a "Welcome to California" to Ma Gwynn - I hope I have a chance to meet her.

This is a riot (www.teenhealthfx.com). I'm sorry for seeming insensitive, but most of the questions teens are posing these days about sex and health are just stupid. And the fact taht adults are willing to devote tons of time to answering them. I admit that people need to be more open and honest about the topic, and that often teens are ill-informed, but I think I was able to figure things out pretty well on the resources I had 10 years ago. I didn't have to mail an anonymous advisor saying "I'm gay - what do I do?" or "How do I masturbate?". Maybe I'm just being closed-minded...

Another bit of news: it appears the government of Alberta just has too much tax revenue coming in - and here we are in a recession. Somehow, they managed to come up with enough money for a state-funded "artist" to pay a performer several thousand dollars to display 7 of his ejaculations (or at least the fluid products of it) as a "work of art" in an art museum in Calgary. Another tribute to the efficiency of government subsidies...

Now if only I can find someone willing to pay ME a couple hundred dollars for a wad of my jiz. Gawd knows I've never really had THAT much trouble producing it...

Note to those who are using the search utility: search engines look for words, not content. I seem to have a lot of people looking for "porn" or "gay adult pics". This won't turn up much, except for my wandering rants on the porn I watch (or make), or the gay freaks I poke fun at. Mind you, I have a pretty substantial collection of porn and dirty pictures, including a good few of myself. But I doubt I'll post many of them here, especially considering the redesign was supposed to contribute to my mystique.

I can't really be all that mysterious when everyone who stumbles onto my site can watch feeds of my latest sexual conquests, now, can I? I guess you could argue that someone who posts regular updates on all the trivia of their personal life isn't all that mysterious, either. But we'll dodge that issue for now...

I managed to record 3 sets at Fred's tonight: Deadbillys, The Vultures & Cattie Ness. Such a great ensemble necessitates a great event: it was Kevin's birthday (bassist for Cattie Ness). Great show, great recording, great video. The mixing and editing will be another project for this weekend.

Now I'm back home, trying to unwind before I pass out. I'm using my Dad's old George Harrison vinyl to help me out. I'm glad I have it now. I guess I never mentioned my own reaction to the passing of Harrison: even though I was about 6 or 7 years too late to be of the generation which could properly appreciate them, I do recognise the genious and innovative influence of the Beatles and their derivative members. John will always be my favorite, but I have always preferred George as my #2. I always found Paul McCartney to be a rather useless member outside of the fold. I have not liked any of Paul's solo work. Harrison has managed, on the contrary, to produce a sizeable body of meritous solo material unseen among any member (though had he lived long enough I'm sure John would have outdone him).

So I guess my point is that the only two Beatles I actually thought were worth their worship are gone. I have been missing John since I first heard him. I miss George. There's my eulogy. I wish it didn't read so shallow and trite, since I meant it to be my only sincere tribute I plan to offer. O well...

And now why is it that I am lately in this mood where I feel I need to fuck everything that moves. I must have been spoiled at David's last weekend, and now I lack an adequate outlet, combined with the fact that I'll probably lack said outlet for another coupla weeks... Must find remedy...

Tired. Must pass out. Must not watch late night network TV. Must not beat off more than once...

Very nice day. I've been in great spirits pretty much since I woke up, and I plan on going to bed as such as well. So if you have any bad news, please refrain from reporting it until I wake up tomorrow.

I met David and his lovely mother at a Denny's in Stockton. The company was absolutely perfect. The restaurant was absolutely pitiful. Bad service, bad decor, substandard food... But we did enjoy a fruitful (for me) tour through a couple thrift stores in Stockton. I managed to score a few records, a bunch of old 78rpms, a new outfit, an Xmas present for my Ma, and a rare smooch in the McDonald's boy's room... But don't tell anyone...

Drove back home singing to Bev and Let's Go Bowling at the top of my lungs. Attended Paula's birthday party for a pinch, then it was off to Fred's for Nate Butler's 10th annual "Mmmm Mmmm Xmas" party. I had my single dry gin martini. I sang along with the Xmas songs. I videotaped the elves doing dirty things. A fun time was had.

Now I'm ready for sleep. I've neglected a few things I should have done today, so I'll be skipping the computer show at the Fairgrounds and just sticking to my chores, and maybe try to cash a rain check I left an old friend which I failed to inform him was actually written...

I'm really liking Deadbillys right now. Something about the fusion of Goth and Rockabilly that just makes me squirm in enjoyment... Some very good news about my holiday family get-together schedule (it's lighter) and some rather scary news from the work schedule (it's getting heavier).

My site has been getting an intriguingly large number of hits on the front page the past couple weeks, but not many people are going further than that. And most of them are coming from David's Journal links to me. Except a few people who are now coming from Superfluid's site. Thanks, by the way, to Steve and Marcos for the link... I only wish I could do more for y'all...

I sent out a few resumes today. Not sure if anything will come of it, but at least I did it... Not much else to report today...

I knew this glowing mood had to end. First I bomb at Open Mic last night, to heckles and sneers and general unpleasantness...

And today I've realized that my parents are among the most inconsiderate people on Earth. They treat my like a 5-year-old. I sympathize with parental instincts to hold the cord, but the degree to which it's being taken this month is perfectly horriffic. I was getting really into the Xmas spirit, buying my tree and presents, sending out cards, etc. But now I just want the whole thing to go away. Ma & Pa are using the arrival of the holidays as an excuse to soak up my free time and riddle me with guilt about how non-family-oriented I am, when in fact I've always seen my family as one of the more together ones out there. Rather than asking me if I can make it to their latest party plans, they tell me when it is, and if I express a conflict, they exclaim how little I care for the family, since I'm unwilling to sacrifice my prior plans to their scatter-brained priorities.

The motivation to job-hunt - for something several hundred miles away from them - is growing by the minute. But I'm not sure how well the market is prepared to recieve me at the moment.

Don't get me wrong, I truly do dig my family. I just resent this common line which emerges every holiday season which goes something like: "Revere the family above all else, unconditionally, because they are 'your family'", as if the fact that someone happens to be familially related to me endows them with some mystic superiority over everyone else I meet. I revere people who give me reason to. And most of the time, my parents do in fact have many virtues worthy of a bit of reverence.

But not today, and probably not this month...

A small haven from this horrible horrible week last night. New job prospects, a good night's sleep, and a nice, benevolent dream about a wonderful boy. Der hyaena might be getting his teaching credentials. And he may even be teaching before he has them, as things are looking...

Now hopefully the evil teachers' unions don't keep me out of work for being overqualified. I've heard of it happening to some of my career-switcher peers. Hopefully there's still a few non-union districts out there...

Also a kind call from Andrea which brought me back to the ole' days. It was sweet and sarcastic and cynical. That's why I like her. It's almost like I'm having a conversation with myself... f everything goes as I want it to, I should be in far better spirits as I welcome in the new year...

In only another 223 hours I should be pinned under the wonderful boy from my dream. If this week ever ends, I have a feeling next week will be just as hard...

I really wish Carrot Top would just go away. I used to be rather fond of AT&T. Now I am seriously considering changing my service provider, just because of their horribly annoying marketing campaign...

Coffee with Amy tonight. The job hunt continues tomorrow. 217 hours left...

Amy is a good pal for putting things in perspective. I think I do abuse it, though, and tend to rattle off about what's going on my end without being as good a listener as she. I'll start trying harder...

This coming weekend is going to suck. Saturday is already to be consumed by two odious family events. I may try to hook up with some neglected friends tomorrow night. If I'm up to it, I might finally try to fit in my much-delayed trek to the north end of the west side (Kerman - Firebaugh - Mendota). Then Maybe I'll actually find the time to start posting said treks on my Road Trips section, which has yet to see the light of day.

So many things to procrastinate over...

Hopefully my mood improves as 21 Dec gets closer...

Bracing for a potential shitstorm at work tomorrow. Luckily, I might be getting a care package from David to take my mind off work once I'm home... Have I mentioned how much I like him lately? Well, I do - a lot.

Long overdue dinner with Paul tonight, and my motivation to relocate my employment is stronger than ever. I should be getting a good night's sleep before judgement day begins... So I'll refrain from replying to David's wonderful suggestive emails tonight, and save it for tomorrow - you know, when I'm in a worse mood...

And if I'm still alive Sunday, I plan to finally open a limited version of the Trips section. More to come...

Well, quite possibly the worst day of work in months is finally over. My fellow office co-worker gave his two-week, and I got crunched in my own job search... Luckily, I may still see myself in a new job my February without much of a hitch. I'll prolly stay onj where I'm at til Feb, however, just so I earn my next round of vacation pay. It's gonna be hell, though...

But I managed to get home, nab the package sent from David and make quick use of it... You'd only understand if you knew how cute David is.

I will be spending this Friday evening at home, for the first time in a long while. I will be enjoying that fact... I plan to spend at least a small amount of time getting the Trips section up, and hopefully it will be functional by Sunday, as promised. Then I'll continue perfecting my iTunes lineup, in hopes that I'll be getting an iPod for Xmas...

Now to tackle that email...

I am enjoying my morning immensely, after an evening mercifully alone with nothing to do but relax and play with iBook. And with myself. David's right: Vons' store brand waffles aren't as good as Eggo.

Some small bits of progress on the Trips section. I may forego the trip out west yet again so that I actually work on the site, rather than simply build more of a catalogue of info to post on it. We'll see.

Considering what I went through yesterday, I feel increadibly centered right now. But then, in about 4 hours the first of two family Xmas events begins. They should both be over by 9 tonight or so, and I can guarantee you I'll be needing a drink afterwards... Luckily tomorrow should be fairly non-threatening.

Putting 1000 songs into iTunes sure does take a freakin' long time. I've been working on it for a week, now, and I'm still only just over 700. I'll prolly be back with an update tonight hopefully.

Thanks to Murray for the late-night hang-out. I'm glad I made it out last night. A very interesting and amusing sketch comedy show at Tokyo Garden, followed by cocktails and Saturday Night Live at Murray's.

As for the Trips section, expect maybe a page or two up today. Hopefully I can get it more together as the week progresses. I just felt like spontaneously changing my priorities today, and spent too much time cleaning house and other chores to devote too much time to the planned update.

I actually might be done with my whole iTunes input job by tomorrow...

Well, the first Road Trip Page is up, and that's prolly all you're gonna get until at least Tuesday. Maybe I'll have it current by the new year. Or not.

Now I have to finish all the other chores I managed to start but not finish so far today...

I finished the iTunes ripping, and tried my first hand at writing a dirty story. Not sure whether I'll post it on the site or elsewhere yet, though.

I just know that anticipating Friday is driving me crazy...

I've decided to start counting it in minutes, since it's fallen under 100 now. Thank gawd. Only 5,912 minutes left as of this update. For those of you tiring of the topic, I assure you that I don't intend to let such a long gap occur between snoggs again in the forseeable future.

Open Mic tonight, where I will unveil my rant on the holiday seasons - specifically that Xmas Should be More Commercial. No, I won't be reading my dirty story. You'll have to do that yourself...

Now I'm trying to decide whether to make a habit of writing dirty stories. The first one was kinda fun, but I'm not sure whether any future ones will just rehash the same stuff. We'll see. Or not.

It sure is nice how fast this day went. And even this update soaked up a cool 4 minutes. Only 5,908 minutes left, now...

I've gotta stop this...

Some Good News/Bad News:

Good News

• Only 4,808 minutes left til David is here.
• I'm getting my substitute teaching certificate tomorrow, and can be on the call list as soon as 3 January.
• I'm getting a raise and a bonus tomorrow.
• Several notes from readers tell me that I'm actually rather good at writing dirty stories.
• My cooker works. For the first time in over a year, I can boil water at home.
• Open Mic went increadibly well, and I'm rather proud of myself.
• It's foggy and chilly in Fresno and that puts me in a good mood.

A very odious staff Xmas party to attend tonight. Hopefully I get some sleep, then tomorrow's pay day. Rah.

Maybe some more Trips page updates by Thursday.

Not much more spending cash, but much lower credit card balances today. Derhyaena is now permitted to substitute teach. Rah. I've cleaned the house, boiled my first pot of water on my stove, had coffee with Amy... All in all, I'm feeling pretty together.

I'm also feeling pretty comfortable with the world right now. Despite the cynical atmosphere here, things have really been working out for me lately. And I recently realised something which is happening to me that I'm exceedingly happy about... I'm feeling more comfortable with my life lately than I have since I can remember.

So forgive me when the cynical comments return tomorrow or in the future. They're just my moody diversions. In truth, I'm increadibly pleased with things, and will probably be even more pleased over the next few weeks if things go as I have them planned. Professionally and personally...

Hopefully this entry wasn't too vague. It was kinda meant to be that way...

I did something I normally don't do and edited yesterday's entry. I just thought it was a little too substandard for my tastes..

My sunny mood is threatening to send some coworkers into a violent rage. Mwahahahahaha!

Thanks to Sister Betty for the Java timer... Unfortunately, my raw-html text-editor-user self will prolly be spending my remaining 1900-odd minutes figuring out how to get the darn thing to work.

Depending on whether I get all my pre-David chores done tonight, I should be able to have an additional page or two up on the Trips section.

And if things go my way, I might have a new trip to report after this weekend's over...

Whilst I admit that airlines may have been a bit lax with security until (and since) 11 September, I think it's complete idiocy that people are suing airlines for the terrorist attacks. The attacks did not occur because of the airlines, which could be the only viable case for a judgement against them. The attacks occured because of terrorists. Neither the airlines nor the government should be held responsible for the existence of terrorists.

Unfortunately, I think most Americans think that their problems will be solved if they find someone to blame. If the victims and their families truly want justice, they won't find it by suing the airlines or the US government (as was done in the 1993 attack on the WTC), but rather by supporting and contributing to the war effort. The terrorists are not under the jurisdiction of our legal system, and thus civil litgation cannot be levied against them. Thus, we can only react by projecting what is the only means a nation has for protecting itself from those outside its borders: militarily.

Instead, I'm sure we will continue to see these dickheads going after the government, trying to get themselves set for life by sucking off the system, whether that may be the Red Cross, some randomly involved corporation or the US Treasury. They ultimately don't care about who is really to blame, nor do they even remotely believe that justice matters. Like most pragmatists, they throw justice and morality to the wind and sell their soul in order to avoid the burden of leading a rational life.

I have added my anticlimactic visit to Monterey and Santa Cruz to the Trips section. Maybe I'll have the rest up by next year, but I'm not promising anything.

Now I must get my beauty sleep so that I look my best for David when he arrives tomorrow. We'll have a lot of "catching up" to do, so don't expect much email from me 'til Monday...

Happy Birthday to K.C., my sister. She's 29 years old, if I've done my math right. I've always gotten on well with her. Even when I was a little kid and she would torture me and boss me around, I still always saw her almost as a role model. She's got an increadibly strong character, and I share more in common with her than almost anyone I know. She gave me my first Cure tape when I was in 4th grade. No one really understood my musical taste back then (come to think of it, no one really understands them these days either...).

So happy birthday, Sis! Speaking of music, I've had "Shot in the Dark" by Ozzy in my head all day. Not all that unpleasant, but it brings me back to my early 80s hair band lovin' days when I would blast Bon Jovi or Europe and play with Transformers in the front room. My next door neighbors were very religious, and got rather freaked out when they came over to play with me. If not for Transformers and tolerant parents, I may have not had any friends at all.

It's fun to reminisce, isn't it? I'll be snogging with David in about 250 minutes, and I can't guarantee that I'll be stopping until Sunday, so don't expect much email or updates from now til then...

Xmas eve. Muy contento. Work's almost done, and my 8-day break begins in about 2 hours. There will be much food, much family, and much giving and getting of gifts. I spent the weekend with David and what I thought would be a mild disaster in the way of family drama went down benevolent and stress-free. It involved lots of sex, food and rock-n-roll.

All in all, the past coupla weeks could have gone far worse. The past weekend couldn't have gone better (except that it could have lasted a bit longer... but I'm not complaining). Like I've said before: I won't be letting that 3-week break happen again.

I doubt I'll be updating for a coupla more days, but I'll make sure I give a detailed account of all the toys I do or do not receive when I return. Thanks to David for being such a perfect guest and allowing me to feed him mass quantities of very-bad-for-you food. We like clogged arteries. After all, Fat is Flavor, and it ain't worth eating unless it was cooked in 6 inches of animal grease.

Happy holidays to everyone, enjoy your respective hedonistic celebrations. Shop til you drop. Eat til you puke. It's all sex, food and rock-n-roll. And listen to a little Nat King Cole whilst you're at it.

Well, I didn't really get all that much for Xmas. But my credit cards are paid down and just begging to compensate, so that's what I'll be doing today.

In addition to reviewing a substantial collection of old audio and video tapes that I dug up at ma & pa's house over the holiday. It's wierd how I always think little kids are kinda annoying, then when I hear/see myself being one of them, I realize that I was once kinda annoying myself... I'm glad I don't have to be around them too often.

I have one particularly annoying tape of myself at age 3 or so, trying really hard to sing America and Christopher Cross tunes. And TV jingles. Don't count on seeing them posted here any time soon...

Increadibly enjoying the vacation so far, but I'll probably be enjoying it even more tomorrow, after I have good company to share it with.

I managed to post a travelogue of the short road trip I took with David (and which he graciously shot the pics for) last weekend.

I've finished all of my relentless consumerism for the next few months, but among the orgy was a ForMac Studio, which will help eliminate my dependence on David or scanners for my siite pics. It may also speed up the process of getting road trips and Fresno info posted.

This will prolly be my last posting of the year. What began as one of the worst years on record (and continued as one of the most ominous one's in my life), is ending on an especially optimistic and benevolent note. Taking stock of my life and the world in which I live it, I'm pretty damn happy. But don't let that make the rants stop, I know.

My official new years albums are: Staring at Nothing by Sleepover Disaster, because it's my pick 2001, and Central Reservation by Beth Orton, becaause it's currently on heavy rotation, I'm in love wiith it, and it kicks ass. Happy new year to all.

Well, OK, I do have one more update: Rudolph Giuliani is a big huge gargantuan asshole. He needs to be impaled by a 10-foot dildo. Then doused with acid. Then set on fire. Then broadcast to the masses in the same way as he's made us watch him for months now...

By proclaiming that the site of the WTC should be preserved as a non-funtional piece of memorial shite, he has confirmed once and for all what we already knew: that he cares absolutely nothing for making New York a well-funtioning, modern city, but rather that he is merely obsessed with his own legacy, his popularity, and turning New York into a formless, slimy tourist trap.

The best tribute New York can give to all the great productive men that died on 11 September is to rebuild the World Trade Center exactly as it was - as a symbol of New York's and America's financial and economiic power, as the center of freedom, trade and innovation, and as a show of courage that America and New York will not obey terrorists. The terrorists want us to be afraid for our skyscrapers. They want us to start seeing any new great architectural project in any city as a potential terrorist target, and to start crouching down on the ground in fear of the heights to which the economic might of New York brought us - from the Chrystler building to the Empire State building to the Twin Towers.

These skyscrapers were where some of our country's greatest men worked - keeping the motors going which move the world. For Giuliani to declare that it is wrong to rebuild them is to demonstrate that he knows nothing about what makes his city great. He thinks its his police or firemen, or his draconian ordinances which close down strip clubs and porn shops and treat homeless people as criminals, that gives New York its appeal. It proves once and for all that, no matter what his dubious populism claims, he was a bad mayor.

Now, I don't live in New York, and in fact have never been there. But modern news and media have given me a substantial volume of knowledge about the greatest city on Earth. Unfortunately, it seems filled with some of the stupidest people on Earth, as well. Why is Giuliani so popular, when all he accomplished was the issuing of directives to eliminate "undesireable" elements, turned most of Manhattan into a glossy unproductive public park, and showed all dewey-eyed for the cameras when his city's greatest buildings were destroyed by foreign terrorists? And why is he taking their side? Why is he giiving up on the creative and productive power of New York? Why does he hate America and all it stands for?

Would that the people of New York weren't so likely to blindly follow him into oblivion... Alas, by making the statements he made today, it is my firm conviction that Rudolph Giuliani has begun what will be the slow and painful death of the greatest city that ever was...