Merry Xmas to All!

Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. It is a colorful and absorbing celebration of wealth and Earthly pleasures that modern, secular, Western civilization has brought to our world. Christmas, especially in America, celebrates several important aspects of modern culture which are valuable and worth celebrating more than any others: wealth, technology, justice and endulgence. All four of these are rooted in the inventions of Western civilization, without which a thing like the modern American Christmas would be impossible: capitalism and the selfish standard of value.

Wealth is at the center of a holiday as joyful as Christmas. Christmas is a holiday that requires and rewards the wealthy like no other. The mass-commercialism of Christmas is best enjoyed by those who have engaged their minds and expertise at building wealth and managing it well, so that at this time of year they can justifiably reward themselves and those they value with expensive, endulgent, extravagant gifts of all varieties.

Wealth is also created in enormous quantities by the existence of this most capitalistic of holidays. Advertizing gets more colorful and ubiquitous and inventive with every passing season, as new innovations in media allow businesses of every type to display their wares to all, to make millions on an original and rewarding product which will bring joy to people to buy it or receive it as a gift. Retailors who fail to address the mass desire to celebrate and spend by their customers at this time of year often will not survive to see the next holiday season. Succeeding from one Christmas to the next is the true sign of a successful consumer marketing and business plan, and has generated one of the most memorable aspects of the holiday season: "Black Friday", when retailors' year-long preparation for this festive season are either rewarded by their passing from the red ink of loss to the black ink of profitability or not.

The fact that wealth is a central component to the execution and enjoyment of a holiday is proof positive of the triumph of American capitalism and commercialism, and such a holiday is to be celebrated with no end of excitement.

Christmas is also a celebration of modern technology. During no other time of year (even convention season in Silicon Valley) is technology so vividly on display. The two easiest ways to witness the march of technology through the past couple centuries are to watch the toy aisles of a given retailer every Christmas, or simply take a ride down any residential street on a cold December night.

Toys are a very colorful and identifiable end-product of the march of technology. Not only does the sophistication and safety of childrens' toys tell the story of how we are advancing the human condition in our world, but they describe how fast technology becomes an affordable part of daily life. The innovations required to make a remote-controled robot cheaply and safely and in sufficient quantities to satisfy a massive number of children are more visible today than ever, with the advent of mass media, which show us these innovations in roaring and vivid technicolor on Saturday mornings and in the windows of every Walgreens.

Aside from toys, technological progress is evident in the way every resident of a modern neighborhood lives out their Christmas season. Displays of bright, efficient, colorful lights sparkle on nearly every house as you wind your way through street after street in any American city, whether urban or suburban, rich or poor, old or new. Homes become warmer and more comfortable every year, as cheaper and more efficient heating methods are invented and incorporated into both new construction and renovation. Agricultural innovations and biotechnology give us bigger turkeys and hams, tastier and fresher fruits and vegatables, and cheaper grains and processed and prepared foods for our holiday tables.

Every year the technology which our modern, capitalistic, secular civilization makes possible is nowhere more vibrantly on display than at the holiday table; watching families dressed in light, short-sleeved attire while it is snowy and freezing outside; as they shovel through massive quantities of food; food which is of a higher quality than ever before, coming from all corners of the Earth, and freshly harvested mere days or weeks ago, though it might not grow locally for months without modern hydroponics or logistics.

Christmas is also a time of justice. Christmas demonstrates this modern innovation more than any other time of year. At no other time is the creation and disposal of personal wealth so unabashedly on display. The more savvy and successful an individual is, the greater his chances to endulge and enjoy the Christmas season, and the greater his personal comfort and enjoyment will be as he passes the cold of winter in a warm dwelling filled with festive sights and sounds and wonderful food and family.

The guilt industry tries very hard to make the wealthy and successful in our society squander our holidays on the poor and unsuccessful, but every year the wealthy spend more on themselves and those that really matter to them (as opposed to indigent strangers). We celebrate the holidays as a time of "giving" and "sharing", but those words fail to emphasise the fact that those places where Christmas is more festive and celebrated are the places where it is overwhelmingly only those we love that we give to and share with. Nothing is more depressing than a cold Soviet Christmas...

Justice is nowhere more simply stated than in our favorite secular God's own morality. Santa is truly a modern diety reflecting the values of the modern Western world. In all his classic tales, Santa rewards good children with gifts, and passes over the bad ones. His idea of justice and its lessons to youth are simple: be good. He may not specify what particular standard upon which this value is to be judged, but we do that ourselves every year: we produce, we enjoy and we endulge.

Which brings us to the final and most important lesson of the modern Christmas: the celebration of epicurian endulgement.

Santa brings frivolous toys to good children who are already nestled snug in their beds. He doesn't bring porridge to starving and naked third-world children. The tale of Santa speaks to our celebration of those who have already looked after their needs, and are being rewarded for what they can already provide for themselves, right now, in this world. Christmas is thus a celebration of our ability to enjoy this world as much as we are able. To understand that we can deliver to ourselves our own holiday cheer, and experience all the wonderful fruits our minds can produce, we have made Christmas the holiday of Earthly pleasures.

So crank up the heat, set the oven for a 40-pound bird, and don't bother feeling guilty for the 20 pounds your family can't manage to stuff down their gullets before it goes bad. Take a drive down a sparkling megawatt-juiced suburban street, bright as daylight and humming with the energy of every modern convenience contained in every glowing house. You made your holiday with your own talents and abilities. All that is required is that YOU enjoy it.