Web Sites
A Lesson in Time Erosion

Depending on how you measure, I've had a web presence for about 8 years now. It started when I was a freshman in college and had received my first used computer and my first used modem. The tools were primitive: an old 80 MHz PC running MS-DOS and an external 1200 bps modem with a textured blue shell. I thought I was the shit when I made my first logon to LegacyNet - a mediocre BBS in Fresno, and made my first e-friends.

As my experience increased, I started coding HTML and making cute little fan pages in Geocities or on my college web space... I actually learned to hand-code early on, to the point that only very recently have I felt comfortable using web-authoring software. I spent a bit of time lurking on chat boards, browsing personal web sites, snooping on my friends and family. Good teenage stuff. The perfect stuff to use the last of my teen years doing.

The raunchy used PCs were my gateway to the net. I never really had the resources nor the ambition to purchase my own computer (though I admit the used PCs left much to be desired after I dicovered the Mac Lab at school). There have been two primary uses I've put my web presence to: researching and archiving for my music habit and displaying my writings. Until recently, the two uses have been rather intertwined, and most people who discovered my web presence found it via one of the two and then were horrified when they discovered the other.

My first domain was hyaena.org. It was, like most of my domains, derived from a little bit of Banshee love. I started using it originaly as an extensive worship site dedicated to discographies, setlists, gig lists, photo galleries, and other dedications to my favorite bands. Then I started posting my essays and a few random daily online journal posts (before they became "blogs").

As hyaena.org warped and mutated over the year or so that I maintained it, I realized how much I enjoyed putting myself on display. I think it has made me very centered and focused upon the psychology of people and what makes them tick. I think I was not much different than the majority of people, except that I discovered the medium sooner. These days, it's not considered odd for people who are otherwise complete hermits to put their whole life out on the web, but still feel terrified by their secrets and totally introverted in public. I think I was actually cured of some of my introvert tendencies (though by no means all) by this initial experience with having a public life, regardless of how few people saw it.

After about a year and a half of hyaena.org, my shabby used PC died a horrible death, and my lack of employment and rising standards saw me not replacing it. Thus for several months hyaena.org stood unchanged, until one day - after the lost renewal form from Network Solution never reached me - it vanished. Into someone else's hands, into someone else's life.

Strange how disconnected one can feel after leading a net-life for years and then suddenly having it end... I must admit that I don't look too fondly on that year or so without a net-life: more for the things that I went through personally than for the lack of net-contact (that was a bad time for me all-around - I often refer to it as "the lost year"). All I can say is I missed being in the cast of The Real World: being a totally disfunctional person laying my life out for all to see.

Then came the day when my productivity at work dropped dramatically: also the day we got connected. I spent way too much on-the-clock browsing time - in fact I often had to work extra bits in order to make up for wasted time on the net. I feel a little bad about it, but I think it was cured one day last year when I had finally gathered the financing and the willpower to buy myself my first Mac. An iBook, of course, which met every bit of my expectations. Weeks before, I had started my new domain at thehyaena.net (a choice I would later grow to dislike), and once again started what was now known as "blogging": sharing my every thought and activity with people I didn't know, who in most cases couldn't relate and didn't care.

But it was all grand fun. I learned more and more about HTML coding, and grew quite good at stealing ideas and cleaning content and arranging and sorting my thoughts and writings. I felt so important as people emailed me telling me I sucked or kicked ass. I was proud of both.

Early this year I got into the real estate speculation business. I bought up domains whenever the name struck me. By February, I had landed this dandy domain of murderingmouth.com, and liked it so much that within months had abandoned thehyaena.net and never looked back.

The blog ended last month. I realized that I had not only managed to bore an audience of millions [sic], but myself as well. That is why this marks the rebirth of this part of my webpresence. The blog is gone - replaced only with my essay- and article-style writings. The archives will be available eventually, when I finish editing them for accuracy, linkability and content. The music and media links are gone (with the exception of my reccommended purchases pages: they'll be everywhere since they make me money).

What you've got left are three specific facets of what makes me love the net: I can purge my contents on inner space, outer space and underspace. Inner space in this case contains the thoughts going through my head - the writings which forcus upon my opinions of the world around me and the people in it. Outer space is my directory of what is "out there" - on the net and in life. Underspace is about me: where I show off my dirty linens (and maybe even more as time goes by) - this essay you are reading will be a part of it. It is also where, should it ever be reborn, you will one day find the blog.

There are more domains out there with my name on them, and my content in them. You can find them easily, I think, so I won't specifically push them here. I hope it's both aesthetically and intellectually pleasing to you. If it's not... well then, go away.